If you’ve heard of the American Bulldog before, but aren’t very familiar with the breed, it’s likely that some of what you’ve heard is misinformation. Let’s get this one out of the way first: American Bulldogs are not pit bulls. That rumor was started by uneducated people (and AI educated via uneducated people) who can’t see a square head without insisting it must be a pit bull. It’s been further supported by confusion with the American Bully, an entirely different breed that should’ve gotten a more original name.
The breeds that fall under the pit bull umbrella are: the American Pit Bull Terrier, the American Staffordshire Terrier, and the Staffordshire Bull Terrier. (If you like, you can throw in the American Bully, who started as a mix of pit bull and bulldog breeds.) You’ll have spotted that the common denominator here is the word “terrier.” Pit bull is a collective term rather than a specific breed, but all pit bulls are terriers.
American Bulldogs are not terriers. They are, as the name suggests, bulldogs. That’s not me being pedantic; bulldogs are working dogs descended from mastiffs of old, which puts them in a completely different group from terriers. It’s also not me being defensive; I love Staffies. My dog just isn’t one.
Now that we’ve cleared that up, I offer some additional fun and important facts about this noble breed, as demonstrated by my American Bulldog, Grim.
They are clowns.
The word “clown” actually appears in the breed standard. I am not making that up.
When an American Bulldog prances around showing something off, you must immediately tell him how very nice it is. Napkin, blanket, paper bag, your own sock that he just pulled off your foot. Rarely will it be an object that actually belongs to the bulldog. Doesn’t matter. Whatever it is, it is so nice.
Fail to do this with the proper enthusiasm, and you may find yourself on the receiving end of fun fact number two.
They are judgy.
Ordinary judgy looks will be frequent and are not cause for alarm. However, when you get the pout lip (see Figure 2), know you’ve done something terrible from which the bulldog may have some difficulty recovering. Apologize promptly, preferably with snuggles and freeze-dried liver.
Sneezing is one example of the many terrible things that might cause the pout lip to appear. While the American Bulldog himself my sneeze, a human sneeze is of grave offense to him.
The chimp sit is normal.
Occasionally, somebody will post a picture on Reddit of their American Bulldog sitting, to ask whether theirs is broken. The answer is no. This is just how bulldogs sit.
There’s not much else to say about this one. They’re weird.
Snuggles are not optional.
The American Bulldog must be in contact at all times. Just a paw or two will do if it’s really hot, but maximum contact is preferred.
Do not try to tell him you’re “working,” or he’s not a “lapdog,” or he shouldn’t “crush your spleen.” Never attempt to use his weight as an argument. It won’t be effective, and you’ll only get the pout lip.
Their coats are supposed to be mostly white.
As you can see, Grim’s coat is mostly black, which is how he got his name. Contrary to both popular belief and the title of this post, “the Grim” is not a reference to Harry Potter, but to the church grims that clearly inspired J.K. Rowling’s grim. (As of this posting, I’m writing a fantasy that includes some church grims myself. But that’s another story for another pen name.)
Most American Bulldogs are white, usually with some patches of black or brown. A mostly black coat is considered by the American Bulldog Officials to be a flaw. We needn’t speak of it again.
So there you have it, the American Bulldog in a nutshell. Grim is the inspiration for Plantagenet, the dog from the Minerva Biggs mysteries. Although Plant is a mixed breed, he has a lot of American Bulldog personality. He’s just much better trained. (To be fair, Grim has had training. “Had training” just isn’t the same thing as “trained.”)
You can read more about Plant starting with Mystery Repeats Itself. You can hear more about Grim pretty much everywhere I talk.
